Jonese's Blog

No words can truly describe this moment.

Wow what an amazing Sunday. My baptism was the perfect day and hopefully I've captured it here with the justice it deserves. Pictures and video to follow later, in the meantime enjoy my stroll down memory lane.

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The following is a work of non-fiction (IE it's Fake). Then again maybe you're reading this and thinking "man that sounds like me". Either way it's meant to make you think and I have to admit a lot of this was the way I USED to think.

Yeeeaaa, Whooppee, Eric's getting baptized. WwwhhaaaHoooo. Geez you'd think he'd just won the lottery or something by how much he's talking about it. I don't know about the rest of you but I think this whole baptism thing is a load of crap. I mean why should I have to get dunked in a tub of water, or have it sprinkled onto my forehead for people to believe that I believe in God.

Besides my religious views are mine and I don't really want to share them with anyone. Even if I did share them, someone out there would have a different opinion and I'm just not going to spend the time to listen to their views or share mine with them. I don't want to push my religious beliefs on them. It's not my job to tell people about God, that's why we have missionaries and preachers and those religious zealots that sit in the front row raising their hands during the music.

And what are you supposed to say to someone who's getting baptized? Congratulations? Thank God, It's about time you got a clue? Don't pee in the baptismal? Seriously do I buy a card, give a gift, or just shake his hand while he looks at me as some lost soul. You know he's going to think he's better then everyone who hasn't been baptized. He's going to treat everyone as a project and it'll be his mission to get them baptized so they can be part of his secret club. Him and all his friends going through life like they don't have a care in the world.

Look at him, all smiling and "glowing" like a kid who just got a bike for christmas. He's got nothing to smile about if you ask me. I heard he drives like an hour each way to work, spends like $80 a week to fill his "Volvo", and hasn't been able to sell his house for over a year! Please give praise to God my ass. If he's such a great guy and believes so strongly in God, his love, and his plan then why is he still suffering? Explain that one to me tough guy.

And what's up with this plan he keeps talking about. " God has a plan for me and I'm just waiting to see how it unfolds" you say and I love the "God will show me the person I'm supposed to be with". Please, sounds like your lazy to me, just gonna wait around and see what God does and you're never going to find a hot chick at church unless she's crazy. Yea you keep that up Eric and tell me how it works for you. I've seen your personal life, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!

I mean seriously I never see you at East any more and your going out stories have gotten really boring. I mean bowling, movies on the church lawn, and frisbee in the park? What are you like 40? Geez you haven't even had a real date in like 6 months and the only girls you talk to are part of your little christian group. Ha I bet they even fast forward through the good parts of movies and are all looking for a christian husband. Geez did they even go to college or are they just working till they can find a husband to take care of them. No way man your plan looks like it's going nowhere.

But you do seem happier, that much I'll give you. And I did meet your buddies, they seem cool and aren't as judgmental as I thought they would be. You say they are going skydiving before you get baptized? Wow that's pretty cool, I didn't think christians were that cool. Hey who was that girl I saw you with the other day at Starbucks, she was so fine she must be someone from your East days? No? Really part of your church crew huh? Huh you don't say. Yea but I bet she's had a rough life and can't trust men so she's turned to God for support huh. A real piece of work, daddy issues and all that. No? You says she's normal and has some serious goals for her future huh.

Man it sounds like things are going really good for you. But God still isn't revealing his plan to you is he? I mean your still single, still have that huge house and drive an hour to work. Oh you got into Oasis as a leader huh? Wow I thought they were going to make you wait for that? No huh, yea I guess God really did provide for you there. And you say your mom has been staging your house, making it look better for interested buyers? Oh she came out because of your baptism huh, funny how that all worked out for you. Yea I guess God is working in your life. But come on man you still single, you've never been single this long. I know you get lonely, you can't lie and tell me you don't, cause I sure as hell do. Not lonely huh? Have the love of God in your life and you know he's going to reveal your next love. Yea but what if that never happens? What do you mean "then it never happens"? Dude do you realize you could be single for the rest of your life. You'll never have kids, you'll never have a family and you'll die a lonely old man with cats! You don't care. You have great friends, and God provides you all the love you need. Man I don't know if I could think like that but seriously I see it in your eyes and I kinda believe you.

So you think I could come with you this sunday. I mean I'm just coming to check out the girls, and I hear the band really rocks out. Yea really? You'd like that? Ok cool I'll see ya at Starbucks say close to 5pm? Cool thanks man....

When people find out I'm getting baptized I get a wide range of emotions but they all seem to want to know "how" I knew I wanted to get baptized. For me I've always wanted it. In the churches I attended, mostly southern baptist, they do this thing called "The Call" at the end of most services. Basically this is where the preacher stands up front after his sermon and invites you to come down and profess your faith. The congregation sings and we all look around wondering if anyone will come forward. Sometime people do and sometimes they don't. The whole time for me I'm standing there trying to get up the nerve to go down, but the music always seems to end just as I've got myself talked into it. So I never went forward.

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So yea I turned my back on God big time. He never gave up on me tough and was constantly putting people and opportunities in front of me to change my ways. God knew how many times I would give Him a no until I gave the big yes.

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