Jonese's Blog

Why do I feel like people don't like to ask for help anymore?

What has society as a whole done to make it a bad thing to ask for help?

I'm a nice guy. One of the things I embrace about my nice guy syndrome is the fact that I have a very high level of compassion for people and their needs.

I'm the guy who will get up early for work just so I can leave early to have coffee with a friend. I make trips to the airport when I'm not going anywhere, or I will take a friend to pick-up their car when I could be home on my day off. I will shuffle my schedule so a buddy can hitch a ride to a small group with me, and then get a ride home with his fiancee later for some precious 1-on-1 time. I'm the guy that would rather give his tithe to his friends mission trips then to the church. I'm the guy who gets a bonus from his company and wonders who can use it more than I can.

There are no motives for my actions other then the smiles or bits of encouragement I instill as a result of my actions. No one asked for any of these things. I'm always offering, I'm always putting myself out there for people.

Some have told me to be careful, that I'll be taken advantage of. I've been told I'm too nice. I've been told that my motives are not pure, that there is some other reason for my actions.

I believed these people for a long time. It made me a very cold person who would rather walk on the other side of the sidewalk then say no to a homeless person. It made me a dark person and it made my smile go away.

But I stopped listening to them. The bible tells us to help those who need it.

I see parts of my nice guy syndrome as a gift from God.

I like to know I'm a person whom friends will think of when they need something, if even just for a moment, they will say "Hey I can call Eric for that". If they have a dream I hope they call me to tell me, in hopes I'll know someone who can help it become reality. If they have a need, I hope they call me, to see if I can help, or at least find out if I know someone who will help them.

I have friends in my circle who I know I could call and ask all these things from them. Sure some of them might take a few more seconds to think it over but in the long run they will all be there when I need them.

Yet we still ask people not to feel sorry for us. We are afraid to ask for help when we know we cannot do something by ourselves. We'll cry out to God, or complain to our pets. We might even confide in a dear friend after the fact.

But in the moment we won't ask for help. It seems like the word compassion has been erased from our vocabulary.

People are so afraid to ask for compassion nowadays and therefore it seems, no one wants to give it.

I read an article about a woman who killed herself because her home was going into foreclosure. No one knew about this woman's problems and she didn't tell anyone. Think how different the outcome could have been if she would have just reached out to 1 person and asked for a little compassion. Not money, not a handout, just some compassion.

When was the last time you were asked by friend to just have a beer or coffee while they unloaded about a problem with a girl or guy?

When was the last time you were asked by a friend to sit in silence while they grieved the loss of someone close to them?

When was the last time you asked for a little compassion in your life?

I know God gives it to us, without us even asking, but He gave us the ability to HAVE compassion. He gave us the ability to FEEL it, to GIVE it, and most importantly to RECEIVE it.

So when was the last time you asked for a little compassion?