Those who know me from church know God controls my life. Those who've known me in the past probably say "yea right" or think this is just a phase. Over the past months it's become more and more apparent just how awesome it is for God to control my life, and I can say this is not a "phase" to those nay-sayers
For the longest time I've been a do'er. I'd get an idea for something and I'd do it. I'd try to enlist people to help me and most of the time I was left holding all the cards. Lots of ideas have flowed in and out of my mind and most of them have had some sort of action taken. Very few of them have been seen all the way from conception to implementation. It's a sad thing to realize and I never did understand why it was this way.
Then it happened. I gave my life to God and just started doing things for Him. He went right to work putting me into a wide variety of activities and other stuff so that I could begin meeting people and making connections I would need later on. I didn't realize it at the time but he was setting me up for something glorious.
Then about a month ago I had a realization. God had made me an enabler. It wasn't my job to come up with an idea and then make it happen. Nope God wanted me to listen to the ideas of those around me and then help them to become a reality. So that's what I started doing. Someone would come up to me with a great idea and without even thinking I was jumping on board to help them. Connecting them with people, encouraging them to go in one direction or gently nudging them into another.
This worked for me. I liked helping people and I was also free to know that while I didn't hold a significant stake in an idea's success, I am a key player. It is so awesome to hear someone's passionate idea handed to you with open arms. They are so vulnerable. So afraid of rejection. But at the same time they are so full of hope. Then I latch on and help them to make things happen.
I thought for the longest time that this was God's plan for me. That he wanted me to help others make their ideas a success.
Boy was I ever wrong.
7|22 came crashing down and a lot of people around me were coming up with great ideas on what to do next. Me, I didn't have any ideas, as I was convinced I was the enabler for my friends great ideas.
But something was stirring inside me. I felt that old rumble which told me an idea was brewing.
It was different this time though.
Most of my ideas came like lightening bolts and filled me with a sudden urge to act right now. But my latest idea came slowly, gradually and through prayer.
It is not my idea, it's God's. He told me what he wanted. I know you're thinking how did he do this? It started with a question from me. "What can I do?" and slowly turned from that into a conversation which I had with him over a couple of days. The idea started to become more and more clear the more I talked about it with him. When the idea came full circle I actually had to laugh because it was so me but it wasn't MINE. I knew this immediately, i knew this was God's idea FOR me.
God has tore me down without me even knowing it. While I thought he was showing me a new path of being an enabler he was really showing me that I needed to give it up and let others help me. I've always been a team player and have no problems working in a group or leading a group of people.
But this was different.
For this idea God was the leader, I was a follower but I still needed to spread the word, find people to get involved and make it happen. It's God's idea, it's one of his plans for me and I am in awe at the guidance he's given.
What is this idea? That is an excellent question, of which I'm not ready to answer publicly yet. If you know me you've probably heard me already ramble about it here and there. I'm still working out all the details but I can tell you this much.
God has a plan. I am his contractor. Things are on schedule.
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