Ideas are powerful. This was the theme of a sermon Andy gave a few weeks back entitled My Summer Vacation. Andy along with his family took a trip to Rwanda, saw a lot of amazing things and shared with us an amazing story of forgiveness. If you've ever had a hard time forgiving someone, or even yourself, then you need to go find this sermon and listen to it. If after that sermon you still can't find forgiveness tell me and I'll pray for you.
The other theme which came out of this sermon was how ideas are powerful. Even simple ideas can have lasting impacts on our life in both positive and negative ways. Ideas like collecting money for a charity during a normal sunday coffee social, or trying to use art to teach others about Christ, and of course creating a movie and a movement to show people that a homeless person is a person too just like you and me.
I've had lots of ideas in my past and I could list off lots of things I've done, which are both good and bad. I'm sure over time everything would even, out that's just how we do things. We do something bad so we try to do something good to make up for it. Other times though we get ideas which just rock our soul, change our perspective, turn dreams into reality or just make us smile for days. This past week for I've seen God using a wrecking ball in my life but in very good ways.
One idea I had which has had a huge impact on my life was to give up dating till September of 2008. Why September and why no dating? The short story is that September will be the 1 year mark for my divorce (it's actually "officially" in August since that was the file date). The longer story is that back in February I thought I was ready to date again so I attended a friends birthday party at East Andrews here in Atlanta. I met a girl there and we hit it off pretty good. Now mind you it had been a long time since I had a girl actually pay attention to me and show a genuine interest in what I did, what music I liked, and what I thought about "stuff" in general. Well needless to say I got a little over zealous and did not play it "cool". Apparently I forgot about the whole 3 days to call or text rule etc. So easy come, easy go.
But that was actually the best thing to happen to me. You see it was a big smack in the face from God telling me that I wasn't ready to date. I needed to finish getting myself right with him and I needed to find who I was. So I started a fast right then and there to not date till September. This was actually something very easy for me to do. I was in my Oasis class and they highly recommend, and I totally agree, that you don't date for the 13 week course. So I had that to help keep me straight but at the same time I was meeting a lot of great guys and wanted to really develop strong friendships with them. I knew that if I had a girlfriend, or even the thought of pursuing one, I wouldn't be able to truly develop those friendships.
You see I've always dated someone. I don't mind being alone, I actually quite enjoy sitting around by myself with just my music, a good book or on the back deck just watching the airplanes fly over head. I've never had a problem with being alone, I just choose not to be. So I've always had someone there. However during my separation I was alone a lot and it wasn't by choice at all. I lived way out of town, didn't know a lot of people my age, and wasn't really trying to make new friends. Then I got into a new job, church etc and things really started to pick up for me. So it wasn't really a shock when I messed up in February.
Fast forward about a hundred days. I've got 47 days left for my fast and as excited as I am for it to end, I'm much more thankful for what I've gained from it. I've been able to really develop a strong relationship with God and have truly surrendered all to him. My life, job, goals, finances, everything is done for Him or through Him. He's the one I go to when I have a problem, when I need strength or patience for something. He's the one I thank and give praise to when things go good, and he's the one I lean on when things go bad. I cannot imagine my life without him. I've also developed some amazing friendships with guys and girls which I know would not have been possible if I was "on the prowl". I've gotten to know people and seen people in such different ways, which would not have been possible without this fast.
I've also really figured out who I am, what I like and where I'm heading. Ok so I don't know where I'm heading for sure but I know God is guiding me there and that's close enough for me. Besides me I've discovered some thing's about relationships and a future mate which are important to me. I know God is first in my life. God is what I NEED. I know I want to find a girl who feels the same way. Someone who will put God above me, someone who will choose to follow God versus her or my desires. To me this I crucial and not negotiable. I'm happy being single. I have a real NEED for God and if He's willing He will allow me to HAVE a wife.
You see most people look of finding a wife or girlfriend etc as a need. They get all girl crazy and this leads them to make stupid decisions, stuff they regret later on. Yes I'm pointing at you but I'm also pointing multiple fingers at me so don't feel so bad. I used to look for that Jerry Maguire "you complete me person". Guess what they don't exist. One person cannot complete another person. It's just not possible. Only God can complete you, another person can compliment you but they cannot complete you. A good friend once told me this. "Eric when God reveals that special someone to you, you will know it deep in your soul. But do two things for me before you make any move. Stop and wait, be patient and see what happens and then pray about it like you've never prayed before. If it's meant to be, no matter what obstacles are put in your way, God will show you the ways around them."
All I can say is I've prayed a lot, he has guided me and God knows what he's doing. So take a page from my playbook. Give up dating if you have to, or don't, but spend some time really getting to know 3 people. First get to know yourself, trust me there is a lot there you thought you knew but didn't. Second get to know God to the point that you have conversations with him, not just pray to him for help but really honest conversations. Third get to know everyone around you. Learn their stories and really invest time in them. In time you'll learn some amazing things and you will be happy you didn't rush into it.
Ideas are powerful. Take some time and explore them.
Jul 22, 2008 at 2:36 AM I love this post and your willingness to show your true heart. I am printing it for C-it's so timely for her as a teen!
P.s. There's a 3 day rule? But what if they had us at hello?
Jul 22, 2008 at 3:28 PM I feel as if this is advice that you cannot pay for. It's lived out. Thanks for sharing this. Really.
The best type of advice is the advice that is real, stripped of all the makeup.
Be blessed!