I got a comment on an older post the other day and to me it was an answer from God for a prayer I've had recently. You see I love this blog, I love blogging and I love sharing myself with all of you. The struggle I have though, is knowing when to share and when to just be silent. Sometimes I get so moved to write something and then I struggle to put the words onto paper. Those are the moments where I need to just write what I can, then step away. Other times though, the posts mysteriously just flow from my mind, to my finger tips and find their way onto my blog.
I see the amazing things my words and thoughts have on those who read them. I see it when friends take a post and then talk about it with their small group. I see it when I get comments from total strangers about how much this post meant to them. I see it when a reader is so distraught about their struggles that they can only post an anonymous comment.
I have been struggling a lot recently trying to figure out how much to share with you all. What exactly I should talk about and what I should keep to myself or only share with those whom I trust and can really open up to.
I also want this blog to be perfect and that is a huge sin because perfection is only something God can achieve. But I try anyways.
I strive for every post to be perfect. For it to have meaning and for it to inspire you to think and do whatever the spirit moves you to do. I'll spend hours pouring over my choice of words, the theme of a post and so many other factors.
But the best posts are those where I just write. Where I let God guide me, and I let Wisdom choose the topic.
That Wisdom girl though can be a real feisty one. Yes Wisdom is a girl because there is no way a guy can be that smart and insightful but I've met many women who are.
So I've been trying to figure out where to go, what to share, and what Wisdom wants me to do.
Wisdom wants me to be real.
Real doesn't mean I have to share EVERYTHING but it does mean that I need to be authentic with all of my readers. Like many of you I am not perfect and I struggle all the time with all kinds of stupid stuff and serious stuff as well.
There have been a few blogs I've posted where after I hit the post button I would go "mmm do I really want that out there?" The answer has always been yes, even if I didn't realize it right away. It's those times when I'm the most real that my posts have the most meaning.
I've been going around and around with this idea of being real. How real is real enough and when am I being too real. Let's face it, you don't need to know every moment of my life. You don't need to know every aspect of my life. More importantly though I don't need to discuss aspects of my life which involve those around me.
So I will be real but only when it's about me. I will share with you my struggles and my discoveries. Why? Because you need to hear them, and I need to share them. When I first began my walk the most comforting thing to me was seeing real people struggle with real issues just like me. Watching them admit their sins and then watch them battle those sins. Sometimes they would win but more often they would lose.
They never gave up though.
They kept on moving forward knowing that God loved them, forgave them, and only wanted what was best for them. It was seeing these people which allowed me to surrender everything to Him. My friendships, my relationships, my finances, my family life, my problems, my successes.
Everything was "lifted up" to him.
It was SO liberating! And I loved it. Then I started to get comfortable and slowly but surely I started to try and control aspects of my life. I started thinking, what would this person want me to do? Or how will they react if I say or do this? I started to worry about how my family would look at certain ideas. How my co-workers would view me etc.
I started to back-peddle.
Luckily Wisdom stepped in and through a few conversations with trusted people, a couple of good books and of course, taking the time to actually HEAR God set me straight again. God set me straight in lots of ways other then just this blog too.
So have faith my fellow Christian. The road is rough ahead, and it's not going to be easy. But as long as you keep Him as the focus, and as long as you trust in Him, you can know that He DOES have a plan for you. Keep focusing on Him and moving towards Him and God will surround you with people and opportunities you'd never be able to discover on your own. Trust me I'm seeing this now in my life, in my friends lives and in countless stories from people around me everyday.
It won't be easy.
It won't be perfect.
It might not even be what you "think" you want.
But it will be a life that you'll be able to point at and say "Man, God you didn't just show up in my life, you showed off!"
So, my anonymous friend, rock on. Lift up your problems to our God. Smile in the face of adversaries and know God is showing off with you. He showed off in your comment and will continue to show off with every breath you take.
Thank you, my Anonymous friend.
2 Corinthians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."
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